


In the Light of a Black Dawn

by LovelessLadyLazarus



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:47:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24961057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelessLadyLazarus/pseuds/LovelessLadyLazarus
Summary: Jon and Satin talk a little at night, about Satin's life as a whore and their relationship.
Relationships: Jon Snow/Ygritte (mentioned), Satin Flowers/Jon Snow
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	In the Light of a Black Dawn

“Does it bother you?”

“What?” Jon didn’t turn around; he couldn’t make himself behold that beautiful face.

Satin sighed, got up and walked across the room, until he was standing next to Jon’s chair, “that I’ve had others?” He began kissing up Jon’s bare chest. 

“No.”

“Then what is it?” Jon was still carefully avoiding his gaze. “Is it that I’m a man?” he knew Jon had bedded a wildling girl north of the wall, so breaking their vows could not be the issue. Perhaps Jon was in fact ashamed of his desires, most men that had come to his brothel were. “I’m pretty enough for you to pretend I’m a girl. A maiden even, or would you rather I bend over and-“

“Stop,” It was barely a whisper, horse and in the back of his throat.

“Or I could die my hair red-“

“Stop! Satin stop!” and then a little quieter please, “please?”

Jon looked down at him, finally. His eyes are big and dark grey, like all the storms of the world were held within them; the eyes of a prince, lonely and longing. At last he spoke, “those other men you,” he hesitates, “served, in Oldtown, what were they to you?”

“Ha,” he made a sound in the back of his throat, “so, it is them,” He didn’t quite know how to feel about that. Almost all the other night’s watch man had claimed him a whore after his arrival and he was just like his mother had been before him Had he had any children they’d been whores too. Yet there was something vulnerable in Jon’s voice, something that seemed more than envy. When Jon didn’t reply he continued. “Some silver coins or flagon of wine, most of them. I think they would have liked me, if they weren’t so ashamed.”

“But did you enjoy it?”

“Sometimes,” he shrugged, “more often than not. You learn to enjoy such things after a while. A weeping whore is little use to anyone.” Yes, he had learned to take comfort in his customers, not the knight who would fuck him bloody without any oil, but there were others with expressions almost as tender as if they were meant for a lover.

“So, none of them meant anything to you?”

Satin smiled, leaned forward. He began combing through Jon’s unruly curls, “they payed for me to bend over and then to do with me as they pleased. I bare no great love for most of my customers.”

Jon bit his lip, “but you did enjoy them.”

“Sometimes, I’ve already said. There was a boy, a nobleman’s son I think, who used to hold me when we were done. I enjoyed that. He told me I was as pretty as the Knight of the Flowers. But it doesn’t matter now I’m here.” He paused. Satin enjoyed thinking about him and his like. They had made his job easy and the reward way worth it. Why can’t more decent men visit a brothel? He had once asked Allei, the one with the pretty eyes. She had just laughed at him. “I enjoy you more.” He hoped he hadn’t gone too far, Jon was Lord Commander and he was nothing but a common whore (like his mother before him). Rather, he attempted a grin, just to see how the other would react; Jon smiled back, seldom had Satin seen such a watery smile.

“You do?”

He bent forward even further and whispered huskily, “you are magnificent, my sweet Lord Commander.” O yes, Satin knew his game. 

“Don’t play with me Satin! An don’t call me that when we’re alone!” He hadn’t meant to sound so harsh. The mask faded and Jon saw a young boy before him, beaten and bruised, but only for a moment, the ripples faded and the Satin he knew returned. Jon felt terrible. What did they do to you, Satin? He thought. What had happened to this young thing that welled up such fear within him? Despite his life at the Wall Jon knew very little of the cruelty of men, while Satin seemed to have been raised by it: by cruelty and pretty perfumed prostitutes, which if even half the things Robb’s Greyjoy boy had said were true, Jon had the feeling he never wanted to find out what had befell him before he made his to the wall.

“I’m sorry,” Satin let go of him and took a step back, so his back was against the wall. Was he afraid of him? Did he remind him of all the men that fucked him a lifetime ago? He had tried to be tender, to show Satin that he wanted him, rather than just some warm body to lie beside him. Satin might even think to warm his bed his duty. Jon wanted to be better, wanted Satin to, well to like him at least. You are Lord Commander a voice whispered in the back of his head, He was forced to spread his legs for men like you all his life, why should you be any different? I could love him, Jon thought, and it frightened him almost as much as whatever was waiting beyond the wall.

“No, I’m sorry,” he sighed, “I want to be better than them. I want you to like me, not just my body, not just as your Lord Commander.”

Satin tilted his head and looked up at him quizzically, “If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t be here.” Jon watched as he chewed on his sinfully red lip; his hair may be blacker than a moonless sky, but his lips were certainly kissed by fire. The thought made him smile. Satin was so dreadfully beautiful.

“Does something amuse you?”

“No,” Jon shook his head, “but you are gorgeous.”

Satin snorted, “You know lots of men have told me so, all of them wanted something in return for their sweet words, so let me ask you now Jon Snow, what do you want?”

Jon stared out into the blackness of the early dawn one final time before he turned towards the other, it was now or never, “My words aren’t sweet. I’m no good with them, but I do like you Satin. I have made you feel less than you are, for that I am sorry. Perhaps we could try being lovers? If you don’t want to that’s fine, you can stay my steward or you can be assigned different tasks, if that would make you more comfortable. I just, I want to be honest with you and I want you to be honest as well.”

“You’ve been thinking about this a lot, haven’t you?” Satin licked his lips.

“I have.” Jon agreed.

“You loved her.”

It wasn’t a question, but Jon nodded, “I did,”

Satin looked up then down, then up again, his fingers had begun to twist his own hair, “I’m sorry about what happened to her. She didn’t deserve to die.”

Jon flinched. Hearing the words stung and suddenly her dying face lay before him. He shook his head to rid himself of the vision, “she didn’t.” then he muttered “Satin,” and bit his lip, “Satin,”

“Do you think you could love me truly?” He could Satin’s dark eyes upon him, so profound he was afraid they might swallow him whole, like they threatened to swallow his heart.

“I’d like to try.” He leaned forward and his hand caressed Satin’s face, “if you’ll let me.”

Satin smiled, bright and beautiful and wanton, “well in that case; take me to bed Jon Snow and once we’ve take our pleasures, just hold me like there’s no tomorrow; there might not be.”

Jon grinned at that, then leaned forward to kiss Satin. His lips tasted of summer grapes and distant lands. When they broke apart gasping for air Satin smiled as well. He pulled Jon to his feet kissing his neck, before leading him towards the general direction of the bed. His dark eyes glimmered in a mischievous light as he pushed Jon onto the mattress.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Best of luck.


End file.
